On the expectations of upper middle class parents

[pezar]

A 15 year old girl from the extremely wealthy SF Bay Area city of Danville jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge Monday morning. To get there, she had to take the subway to SF from Danville, an hour's ride that is about $5-7 (not sure of the exact fare nowadays), and then she rode from SF's Financial District to the bridge, another hour. In other words, she was determined.

http://www.mercurynews.com/top-stories/ci_18137636

An immigrant from Asia posted the following to that page:

Edward Liu · University of California, Hastings College of the Law
Bay Area residents and families ought to take pause and ponder why it is that our young teenage kids from seemingly highly affluent cities such as Danville and Palo Alto are killing themselves at such as young age.

Suicide by train in Palo Alto, and now suicide by the GG Bridge, by a young 15-year old promising teenager just starting out in life have become a brutally sad pointer to all Americans that something is deeply dreadfully wrong and awry with our way of life, our family values, and our sense of connectedness living in the wealthiest nation on earth.

I was born, raised, and spent my formative and teenage years in Asia. There, we barely have much material comforts, and were lacking in most of the consumer goods, and material comforts Americans from affluent families here enjoy.

But there is one thing that we always have --- the love of our extended families; and a sense that no matter how rough and tough life is, we can always go home, and seek the warmt, succor, and solace of our family.

I ask myself, after resettling here in the Bay Area.... why is it that American adults, with all their education and seemingly sophisticated society, tend to have such unhappy children who are drug-prone, mentally challenged, suicidal, or otherwise abandoned and left feeling unloved and isolated?

I hope I am wrong.... but some of my Asian friends are beginning to believe that Americans, specially Californians, "eat their young."

Just look at how our state government in Sacramento, under an old goat like Jerry Brown, has literally eviscerated our public schools, and abandoning the nurturing and caring of our kids in our schools and colleges?

Do Californians eat their young? Do they? Do they? I am but an ignorant Asian immigrant trying to make some sense about living in America, and specially the Bay Area. Will we have more Palo Alto teenage suicides by train and more kids from affluent families jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge?
Like · Reply · 9 minutes ago

We all know he's right. Expectations have only been ratcheted higher since CM's time on earth. Kids HAVE to get all A's, they HAVE to get into the Ivy League and fraternities, HAVE to get the high paying job. For some, that becomes a HAVE to die to escape. Once the school year concludes, every year there seems to be a wave of suicides of rich kids. It's not true that failing Algebra means your life is over, but kids are led to believe it. Some take it literally. The parents seem to lack perspective, because they were raised like this too. In the end, everybody cries, but they don't learn.

[JesusIsLove777]

because they dont have the love of Jesus in their life.

[ohio]

As a 25 year-old, white, male raised in an uppermiddle class family I understand the pressure that can be applied to people of such backgrounds. Some parents apply this pressure consciously and some subconsciously. I think many of our parents have worked so hard their entire lives to give us the "opportunity" to "propser" in this world that their potential dissapointment in our not succeeding is all that is needed to make some kids crack. We feel a sense of responsibility to "make something of ourselves." In our society, this means making money. So, our lives revolve around eventually living up to this expectation. For some it is to heavy a burden to bear.

Our society is not centered around surviving, but thriving. So if we are no thriving, we are inadequate. Chris understood this. He chose to not partake in a career or assimilate with todays society. I commend him for his ideals. He was a romantic and while he eventually met an early end it was not because of his beliefs. We must separate the ideals from the demise.