Re: Carine McCandless is writing a memoir...
Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 2:58 pm
Hi there, I've read Carine's book too.
As you, I am also still a bit reticent about the relation she shared with Chris...I've cried my eyes out reading that in many years they only shared some letters, even if Chris didn't have a phone, the college has one, for sure, how is it possible that she never felt the need to hear her brother's voice for so much time...why she didn't talk with him about her first marriage, but took him totally out of her very important event? Only later, after he phoned her asking explanations, she realized that Chris was not informed directly about it, he didn't know nothing of her marriage, that he was probably informed by their parents... Ok, she was young and often brothers don't need to talk because are able to understand each others anyway, but almost ignoring themselves even for so important things it seems very sad and so painful to me and even not knowing him personally I suppose he felt not so happy about it.
Then after many years (too many under my point of view) she finally met Chris for his graduation and he spoken openly with her about his intentions to break soon or later the ties with their parents, but he never mentioned to quit with her too...so when he disappeared, is it really possible that she didn't feel the urgence to contact him? She was not living anymore with their parents so why he never contacted her, but just preferred ignore her? 'Go North', you tried to answer to this question assuming that the cause was their weird family environment, but if this is the real reason that brought them to love each others in a so 'untold' way...why Chris enjoyed in contacting all the people he considered friends as Jane, Ron and Wayne? And not at all her? I'm sorry but there is something I really don't get, maybe it's only my fault maybe a limit of my comprehension but up to me, what's written in the new book is not the 100% truth or at least the truth is not said in certain parts.
Carine wrote that her business grew up fast in the years of Chris disappearance, and she had a very good income, if so, and she and Chris were still so incredibly tied as when they were children, why she didn't hire an investigator by herself, paying with her own money to increase the probability to find Chris? Not with the aim to violate his choice, and also without saying a word to their parents (to be sure to be respectful toward Chris within her attempt to find him), with the intent to know that he was fine and happy!!! This part really upset me! And tears fall down thinking how much alone Chris really was, and felt.
Also do you remember in those years how many violent crimes happened?! I really couldn't image myself as sister of a vanished brother in those times, in Carine shoes, doing nothing at all, even having money to can do some extra research, not knowing if my brother had an aggression or worse and needs my help.
I think that all of us need to feel loved! That someone we care about it, shares the joy of his/her life with us, so that we are sure we're part of that joy, surrounded by that feeling of love. To be ignored it's painful and to ignore it's cruel, I personally ignore people I really don't get along with, or when they are horrible but if a person I love starts to ignore me I wonder why, simply because the love and simply because that person is so important for me!
As you, I am also still a bit reticent about the relation she shared with Chris...I've cried my eyes out reading that in many years they only shared some letters, even if Chris didn't have a phone, the college has one, for sure, how is it possible that she never felt the need to hear her brother's voice for so much time...why she didn't talk with him about her first marriage, but took him totally out of her very important event? Only later, after he phoned her asking explanations, she realized that Chris was not informed directly about it, he didn't know nothing of her marriage, that he was probably informed by their parents... Ok, she was young and often brothers don't need to talk because are able to understand each others anyway, but almost ignoring themselves even for so important things it seems very sad and so painful to me and even not knowing him personally I suppose he felt not so happy about it.
Then after many years (too many under my point of view) she finally met Chris for his graduation and he spoken openly with her about his intentions to break soon or later the ties with their parents, but he never mentioned to quit with her too...so when he disappeared, is it really possible that she didn't feel the urgence to contact him? She was not living anymore with their parents so why he never contacted her, but just preferred ignore her? 'Go North', you tried to answer to this question assuming that the cause was their weird family environment, but if this is the real reason that brought them to love each others in a so 'untold' way...why Chris enjoyed in contacting all the people he considered friends as Jane, Ron and Wayne? And not at all her? I'm sorry but there is something I really don't get, maybe it's only my fault maybe a limit of my comprehension but up to me, what's written in the new book is not the 100% truth or at least the truth is not said in certain parts.
Carine wrote that her business grew up fast in the years of Chris disappearance, and she had a very good income, if so, and she and Chris were still so incredibly tied as when they were children, why she didn't hire an investigator by herself, paying with her own money to increase the probability to find Chris? Not with the aim to violate his choice, and also without saying a word to their parents (to be sure to be respectful toward Chris within her attempt to find him), with the intent to know that he was fine and happy!!! This part really upset me! And tears fall down thinking how much alone Chris really was, and felt.
Also do you remember in those years how many violent crimes happened?! I really couldn't image myself as sister of a vanished brother in those times, in Carine shoes, doing nothing at all, even having money to can do some extra research, not knowing if my brother had an aggression or worse and needs my help.
I think that all of us need to feel loved! That someone we care about it, shares the joy of his/her life with us, so that we are sure we're part of that joy, surrounded by that feeling of love. To be ignored it's painful and to ignore it's cruel, I personally ignore people I really don't get along with, or when they are horrible but if a person I love starts to ignore me I wonder why, simply because the love and simply because that person is so important for me!